My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
