Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Are my feet made of real feet?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
