from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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