You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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