There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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