so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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