i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
