I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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