what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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