I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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