We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
