It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
