you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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