toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
