The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
