Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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