whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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