Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
