I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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