why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
