garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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