I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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