If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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