Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
