I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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