Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
