So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
