I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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