he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
