Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
