That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
