He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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