I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
