Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
