matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
