That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Pants are for mortals
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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