I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize