Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
