Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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