we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
