i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
