I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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