I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
