How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
