do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
