wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
