Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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