2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
