Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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