just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize