I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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