i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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