New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
