Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize