u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
