that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
