I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
