Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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