playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
