just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
